Trusting in God

So lately I've really been wondering why it is that time and time again God shows us his love for us but many times we are too blind to see it. We fall into the trap of thinking we get something because we deserve it but in actuality we deserve nothing but death and a sinners he'll and eternal separation from God! I've recently had this smack me in the face because I remember thinking depressing thoughts about how I was "stuck" in a job and would never be allowed to progress beyond the level I had reached, that I would never be able to provide more than a low standard of living for my family and that I would not be able to let my children play sports or do any activities. I thought if I wanted them to have opportunities then I would have to work 80 hours a week and never see them. 

I should have just trusted God, and let him work as He does, he wants to give us the desires of our heart as long as our desires are His. What I mean by that is my desire to advance my career has never been motivated by wanting to make myself of higher standing than my peers, but I want to provide for my family better. I don't want to live paycheck to 5 days before paycheck like we have, I don't want to have to decide between me eating and my family eating. Don't get me wrong, I thought I deserved a promotion, a raise, better schedule etc. but I now realize that I don't deserve any of that stuff.

I left the job where I was and went chasing my dream of bettering my career to better my film but what I found was that it was just more headache and began to regret not FULLY trusting God to give my family what they need or what I thought I deserved. I thought I'd go get it and things would be great, But God said NO and took me on an 8 month journey of hardships and trials until I finally realized that the problem was me all along, I felt entitled to something I wasn't entitled to. 

One day I was thinking, and God opened my heart and showed me he mistakes I had made. I begged him to forgive my unbelief, to change my heart and make it more like His. It began slowly, but sped up quickly. I'm not there yet but I know now that I have to trust Him completely, whether with my career, family, finances, future, relationships, anything. 

Once I had the realization that I needed to change, it happened. The doors began opening and in a matter of less than 2 weeks I was back at my old job and advancing beyond what I ever thought possible. We're not going to get rich from this position, but I have a chance to help people in there most helpless time, while making enough money to gives family what they need and a future to maybe give them what they want too. 

In numerous places the Bible tells us to do things like sell all that we own and follow Christ. I don't think we have to sell our homes, cars and possessions but the meaning behind it is that we should rely solely on our Lord in everything and that's a difficult thing to do if we are more concerned about things here than eternity. Part of being a husband, father, and man is providing the necessities that my family needs, that's my job, that's a true calling of EVERY father or husband. My work only provides a means to do so. We don't have to sell all our possessions but if we did I guess we would have no choice but to trust on him fully, that's why it's crucial that we never stop striving to keep our hearts on line with God and His will.

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; (Matthew 6:20 NASB)

Jesus said to him, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me." (Matthew 19:21 NASB)

"Keep your eye on the prize and look up, your redemption draws nye"